It was September, and humorist Susan Konig had just put her youngest child on the school bus with his brother and sister and thought, "Wow, my life is really going to change now. All three kids in school full-time. For the first time in a decade I'll have my days to myself! I'll write another book, get to the gym four times a week, run for political office, save the baby seals . . ." Almost immediately, she started throwing up. Around the clock.She knew the drill. She was definitely pregnant . . . with her fourth child . . . and about to turn forty-three.Time to break out the big pants again.While Susan thought that the next chapter of her and her husband's lives involved making plans for their impending child-free, swinging middle-aged-dom, instead she's back to two A.M. feedings. Meanwhile her tween daughter is receiving her first phone calls from . . . boys! And in between this twelve-year-old and the newborn are two rambunctious sons, eight and five.So it's training wheels and training bras; first dance, last diaper; Miss Clairol and Ben & Jerry. Will Susan ever get back into shape? And what shapewas that, exactly? Will she be the oldest mom at preschool in a few years? Will she survive that long? And will she and her husband cope with a national radio show that brings their disorganized household to the whole country?Acclaimed humorist Susan Konig follows her successful debut, Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road (and Other Lies I Tell My Children), with this charming, hilarious, and realistic account of being a mom. After all, it's a big job---and it requires big pants."A witty collection of motherhood tales . . . in the great tradition of Erma Bombeck."---Publishers Weekly on I Wear the Maternity Pants in This FamilyPraise for Why Animals Sleep So Close to the Road"Konig's debut is downright Bombeckian. . . . Hilarious...brilliant."---USA Today"Konig is an exceptional humorist on the order of Erma Bombeck and Jean Kerr."---Library Journal"As a psychologist, I can't recommend lying to your children. But, as a psychologist, I can recommend laughter, and this book will tickle your funny bone in every chapter."---Dr. Joyce Brothers"Despite its humorous tone, readers will often be touched by the more sensitive moments. . . . Though this debut will hold particular interest for harried parents, even single women will be delighted by this amusing glimpse into American family life."---Publishers Weekly"Like many journalists who become full-time moms, Susan Konig wrote a book about it. Yet, unlike most of the recent onslaught of such titles, hers is unpretentious and even funny. Konig tells it like it is."---New York Post"Give it to the mother you want to make smile."---National Review"Laugh-out-loud hilarious . . . Susan Konig tells the truth about exactly what you're in for when you have kids."---Sandi Kahn Shelton, author of Preschool Confidential and What Comes After Crazy"Thank you, thank you, Susan Konig, for telling the truth about American women. . . . How refreshing to encounter a real-world mom who doesn't pretend she's all that."---Elizabeth Cohen, author of The House on Beartown Road"Readers will cringe in fear and burst with delight at the endless juggling, improvisation, and reinventing Konig needs to keep her sanity, her marriage, and her kids in one place."---Bruce Stockler, author of I Sleep at Red Lights: A True Story of Life After Triplets Read Less